Love Does the Dirty Work

Greeting, blogosphere, I write to you from mommy-land! It's been almost 6 weeks since my little Mia Rose was born and albeit the most exhausting 6 weeks I've ever experienced, they have also been the most magical! Just as I suspected, seeing my little one for the first time would overwhelm me with the most powerful love a human could ever imagine. I'm pretty sure I cried non-stop for the first 2 weeks every time I saw, smelled, touched, or thought of my precious baby girl. So yes, I am still learning to compartmentalize all this love into pockets! At times, the love overflows out of me, but I'm getting a handle of it! ;)

First, I want to share the beautiful details of our daughter's birth. At about 2:30 AM my water broke in bed and it was the scariest, effing thing I ever woke up to. I was shaking uncontrollably because this was it. This baby had to find a way out one way or another and that meant me experiencing a whole lot of pain. So, after calling the doctor, getting the hospital bags together, and stuffing a granola bar in my mouth, (By the way, EAT MORE FUTURE MOMMIES! That was my last "real" meal for 17 hours. Not a good idea.) we drove to the hospital. After 17 hours of painful contractions, 3 nurse changes, and 2 bowls of soup broth, my doctor told me the safest thing to do was to proceed with a c-section, especially since I was starting to get a fever. Cue the tears. I was scared out of my mind! I've seen plenty of c-section videos, but nothing can prepare you for someone to tell you that or the surgery itself. I don't care how strong you are, THAT CRAP HURTS. Despite the plethora of drugs they pump into your body, the pain is very much so present! Thankfully, I had my partner-in-crime/best hubby in the world, beside me telling me how awesome I was. AWWW.

Anyway, after what felt like a lifetime of being on that operating table, finally I heard the doctor tell me she was out and she did so by exclaiming, "Look at those lips! She's beautiful!" In front of my face came the cutest, pinkest, rosebud baby with even pinker, pouty lips ready to kiss her mommy and daddy right on the cheek. Cue the tears again. Suddenly, the world made sense. Mia Rose was born 7 pounds and 2 ounces, 20 inches long, and perfect.

Being a mom is incredible. Yuck, that doesn't even describe the half of it! Mia is magic. Her eyes looking at me is magic. It's not of this world; it's something way bigger than I can ever explain. From the first day I learned that I would be a mommy, I felt lucky--scared out of my mind, but lucky. I knew that this baby would change Connor's and my life forever for the best. And even when people close to us doubted the timing of this miracle, we still stood our ground that this was meant to be. God decided it was our time to be parents to a beautiful baby girl. It took so much courage for Connor and I to stand up to those who criticized us for having a baby while he was still in medical school. There were times that I would cry to him in bed at night because it killed me emotionally that those who should have given us strength were instead filling us with fear. All we could do was have faith that God's timing is never wrong and lean on those who supported us and reminded us of the exciting future to come. I'm so thankful for those friends and family who stuck with us the whole way through our long pregnancy journey! Especially my mom who is always a fountain of love and my good work friends, Clare bear and Ally who listened to my crap and reminded me to laugh at it all.

Yes, having a a baby while a husband is in medical school is a challenge. Because the nature of this blog is to honestly talk about how our personal life and medical school intertwine, I certainly don't want to leave out that  harsh  reality. Getting maybe 5 hours of (really bad) sleep then waking up at 4:30 AM for a surgery rotation and getting home at 6:30PM to go to bed by 8PM is a huge challenge. Connor does a fantastic job of making it look easy because of his awesome personality. Thank God for that! At night, we look at each other and say "This is CRAZY. How are we doing this?" Then we remind ourselves that love is doing it. The love we have for Mia and for our marriage is doing the dirty (diaper) work for us. The only easy thing about it is showering our gorgeous daughter with lots of hugs and kisses!

So with all the good, the bad, the ugly that comes with being new parents, you start to learn so much more about yourself. You learn that negativity is stupid and pointless and more people need to stop wasting so much energy on it. I want nothing but positive energy surrounding my daughter.. always, as long as I can help it. You also learn to forgive more easily because when you reflect on the beauty and the innocence of a newborn, you remember that life is so much more than being angry at or resentful for the mistakes of others. And lastly, you learn that nothing is more important than saying I love you... Especially to your husband after a long day of feeding sessions, bottle washing, diaper changes, laundry washing, and vomit cleaning!

Love,

Mandy, Connor, & Mia