The Love of 3

What a whirlwind the past couple of months have been! I am so excited to just spill all the beans and catch you up on our past 5 months.

In early January, Connor and I received the happiest (albeit kinda scary!) news of our lives: we are expecting our first baby in September of this year! Finding out the news was truly life changing, but ever since that day, I've only grown more excited to be a mommy. This certainly wasn't in our 2 year plan, but sometimes God has different plans for us. And I have to say, plans that involve this big of a blessing have to be welcomed with open arms. :)

The first three months of pregnancy were.... difficult. Morning sickness took a hold on my soul and decided it wasn't letting go for a long time. Every morning without fail, I felt as though I was up all night sucking down the strongest margaritas on Earth without stopping to breathe. And it lasted ALL DAY. Whoever termed it "morning" sickness is a cruel person. If you have the misfortune of experiencing morning sickness, it will be a 24 hour battle. Ultimately, that completely ruined food. FOOD. One of my greatest joys and pleasures in life as most of you know from my blog. EVERYTHING LOOKED, TASTED, AND WENT DOWN like it was vomit. Oh, too much information? I apologize, but after living through that, I feel as though just hearing about it is the smallest favor this world can give back to me! ;) And forget about cooking! Handling raw meat... no. way.

It's a girl!!

So now, at week 22, what's the difference? EVERYTHING! Everything is different. I can eat (voraciously) and I can actually stay awake past 7:30pm! That was a delightful and welcomed change after falling asleep on the couch almost immediately after dinner every night for 2 months. Sleeping (during the day) I think was the only thing that helped me survive the death grip of morning sickness. Unfortunately for me, I was not sleeping at night! Sleeping at night was disrupted by stomach upset, headaches, frequent bathroom trips, and anxiety. But I'm very happy to say those days are long gone! Of course not the frequent bathroom trips. I am still zombie-ing my way to the loo at least 2 times a night. I always imagine the baby at night locating my bladder and just kicking it or squeezing it for fun like it's a rubber toy. It's her nighttime antics already at play.

It's obvious from reading this, I've experienced all the ugly and troubling symptoms of pregnancy. But what about all the good? I have to tell you-- the good is what will get you. It will make you feel like the happiest and strongest woman in the world. The good makes me believe in all the butterflies and rainbows in the world because there is nothing better than growing a life inside of you --a  special life that is the product of love. I feel incredibly lucky, already, to be the mom to my little girl. Whenever I feel her moving around in my tummy, I get this overwhelming emotion that makes me unbelievably thankful that I'm here on this planet. All the crummy stuff that we go through on a regular basis means nothing because in the scope of it all, it doesn't matter. Mean people, bills, Mondays, traffic, paper cuts, the common cold... NONE of that sums up life. What really matters is growing the amount of love you create and give in this world.

How could a human the size of a papaya make me come to such a cheesy life altering conclusion? It's hard to articulate quite honestly. I don't think it can easily be explained. It's something I wouldn't have ever understood until I experienced it. Seeing my baby grow from the size of a gummy bear at week 8 to a 20 week baby that has hands that curl into a fist and knees that bend and allow her to kick and flip around is magic! Sure, it sounds cliche. But cliches are true. Pregnancy is a miracle and I wouldn't change this whole life-flipping-upside-down thing for anything in the world.

Most of the comments I hear about being pregnant with a husband in medical school are laden with anxiety and fear.. understandably! The first three months, I would toss around in bed for hours wondering how this will all work out. Then last week in a public bathroom,  after some light conversation, an older woman said to me, "You guys are brave. Trust me, you won't ever regret the adventure." I looked at her with so much surprise because that was the coolest thing anyone has said to me yet.

Connor and I have never really lived an "ordinary" life since we met. We always laugh about it. It's been a wild, crazy, and ridiculously fun ride since we first fell in love with each other. The intensity of our connection was sometimes too much for a few people, but that same intensity has blessed us with nothing but success and happiness. I have an unending faith in God that Connor, me, and our precious baby will be protected on our crazy journey. Some people were meant for the extraordinary adventure in life because they can handle the ride. I think that's us. You can't avoid the downs of the ride either, but we always get through them because we love each other. And now, we're even luckier, because the love of 2 is growing to the love of 3.

Love,
Mandy